The Power of Words
April 2011
The Power of Words
I have been saying I need to write for a while, and now I finally have the time to, and by “have the time to,” I sincerely mean, I have decided to procrastinate on Calculus and Psychology homework to write.
Words. Think about how large a role they play in our lives. They are our lives. Whether it be a transmission from Air Traffic Control, a scripture, a note, or a discussion, words have an amazing aura about them, having the power to console, to soothe, to support, to commend, to love, to hate… to scold… to hurt…
This fact has puzzled me the last few weeks. Thinking of friendships past and present, relationships of all sorts, we can all recollect a time where words hurt, but hopefully, we can also recall the time words helped heal. When nothing else seemed right, someone said something, wrote something that “took the edge off” or let us breathe for a second. I love the fact that words have this power, however, I also am troubled by this strength of words.
Unfortunately, the words we can use to mend a broken heart or water an arid soul can be used to pain that heart, to consume thought, to cause pain. The largest concern: words unleashing their power, even with no intention to do harm. In a society and world that lives and thrives on words, whether spoken, written, sung or whatever means, it is crucial for us to understand the ramifications of rhetoric and script.
In Judaism, we are reminded that a great sin is הרע לשון Lashon Hara, literally “Evil Tongue.” To many that comes to terms of “gossip,” “slander.” I believe that as well, however, I think a crucial part is missing. What if our intent is not gossip; if our intent is debate, or constructive? Is that equivocal to slander and gossip?
The language that we use has innate abilities, connotatively and expressively. Gossip and slander kill three people, says the Talmud, the one who gossips, the one who listens, and the one who it is about. We can all recall times when we find people are talking about us behind our backs, that sense of shame, of being overwhelmed, saddened and disheartened. Winston Churchill once said, “By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach.” Wise words, but if I may, Sir Churchill, how is this done?
The simple task may be to attempt to not gossip, but my question remains, how do we deal with the unintended insult, with the affront that was inadvertent or spontaneous?
I think this comes in part to personal responsibility. Our duty to remember that we all have different views, different upbringings, different experiences that make us who we are. Psychology speaks about the idea of “Nature versus Nurture” when exploring human development. Nature being the biological and physical attributes we all have (albeit different for each person) and nurture being our upbringing and experiences. The only qualm I have, and it is not all that uncommon, is the “versus” part. Couldn’t it be both, more so one than the other for some, or equal for others?
Unfortunately, humans judge. We maintain our own opinion, associate our opinion of specific people and object with specific events, and sometimes, even view our position of it as the “right” thought process. Unfortunately, by having our opinions and views, we cloud our ability to see clearly, and perhaps, become complacent and inept to view the obvious due to our labeling. Or it renders us incapable of recognizing others’ opinions and views.
I don’t know of a way to fight this, however, I do recognize it is through our actions that we are heard. Words have an amazing power. They can hurt. They can heal. They can love. They can hate. These weapons that we use are as strong and finite as they are soothing and debatable. In the Torah, Miriam gossips about her brothers, and she is punished with a plague described to be similar to leprosy. However, Moses calls out “El na, r’fa na la, I pray Thee, heal her.” Words hurt and heal. Whether it be a friend consoling you after a loss, a group joking and chiding, or a conversation about the weather, words have the ability to make a better day for us all.
It can be as simple as a “Hey, How are you?” that makes the difference to someone. Compassion, in my mind, has been one of the greatest gifts we can possess. To try and make amends: to use these powerful words to help, to comfort, to heal. Not to maim, or assault, or attack. Not to gossip, or slander, but to speak truth, to speak compassion. That is the greatest deed we can engage in on a daily basis.
A simple hey, how are you can suffice, and mean the world to someone. Often times we can see that our friendships can last lifetimes. It is our companionships that get us through the day sometimes, and it is because of that, that we survive.
On that note I’ll leave you with a few final thoughts:
Whether we talk every day, or once or twice a month, I will always be a friend to you. I will help you in any way I can. I would be nowhere without you, and my phone is always on to listen if nothing else. If you ever need anything, I’m here. J
Hinei ma tov umanaim shevet achim gam yachad- Behold how good and how pleasant, is being with friends, together.
Shalom Aleichem, Peace to you.
Thank you. And remember, it is as simple as a “Hey, how are ya?”
~
“Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.”
--Pearl Strachan
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